TRUSTING SOME ONE
Let's suppose your marriage has experienced a breach of trust
already. The hurt from that experience can cause you to withdraw your
heart and decide never to trust again. But don't give up on your spouse.
Give him or her a chance to earn your trust so that your marriage can
be restored.
But remember: There must be more than apologies. To earn your trust, your spouse needs to make some real changes. Maybe the offending spouse needs to join a support group or talk to a mentor. Maybe he or she needs to be more accountable to you and even accept consequences for bad behavior in the future.
One couple I counseled experienced a crisis of trust that could have torn their marriage apart. The husband flirted with other women: waitresses, co-workers, even their mutual friends. He thought it was harmless until his wife told him how alone and scared it made her feel. He saw how it was affecting her, and he was a changed man.
He told her, "If you see me being inappropriate with a woman again, tell me right there and I will stop." He became more accountable, and she was finally able to trust her husband.
Trust can be built and rebuilt, and couples can enjoy the intimacy that comes from being secure in each other's love.
But remember: There must be more than apologies. To earn your trust, your spouse needs to make some real changes. Maybe the offending spouse needs to join a support group or talk to a mentor. Maybe he or she needs to be more accountable to you and even accept consequences for bad behavior in the future.
One couple I counseled experienced a crisis of trust that could have torn their marriage apart. The husband flirted with other women: waitresses, co-workers, even their mutual friends. He thought it was harmless until his wife told him how alone and scared it made her feel. He saw how it was affecting her, and he was a changed man.
He told her, "If you see me being inappropriate with a woman again, tell me right there and I will stop." He became more accountable, and she was finally able to trust her husband.
Trust can be built and rebuilt, and couples can enjoy the intimacy that comes from being secure in each other's love.
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